Aloha and Namaste!

I’m the Gimp Wimp.   Which means  that I actually know almost nothing about what I’m bavarcating about.  I’ve picked up information with the “velcro” method  … I just roll along the Internet highway and stuff sticks to me as I bump along.  From time to time I stop and pry the detritus off and examine it.  I keep the good stuff and just toss the rest back into the road.

I’m perpetually frustrated by tutorials.   I obviously open the damned things because I want to be “tutored”  but most of the time,  the really basic stuff is omitted and the instructions are so garbled, that I just get frustrated and say bad words.  In Hindi … so most people won’t know what I’ve suggested they do.

So I’ve decided that when I learn something new … a nice little tidbit of information or a clever little trick … I’ll share it.  In a simple way.  Without going into all the technical stuff nobody needs.  Heck if you have to create a business card which will fit into a template which is created for a 8 1/2 by 11 inch American letter size, I could confound you with pages of explanations why you have to use 1500 x 600 pixels instead of 3 1/2 by 2 inches.   Instead I’ll just tell you to shut up and follow the instructions.

Then I’ll explain later, if you’re obsessive and really want to know.   Even then, my explanations aren’t going to go into all the mystery codes underlying everything.  I’ll just give you the nitty gritty.  Mainly because that’s all I know.   I just want the results.  I don’t care if you want to call a pixel a gnome  …  it just doesn’t matter.   Sorta like life.

So I’ll start slowly and just toss things in as I run into them.   My first run-in was a major collision.   When I couldn’t locate a template to use for my lovingly created GIMP business cards.   My trusty Corel program had disappeared with my old computer  … and I was at a loss when it suddenly dawned on me that GIMP is a graphics program and that spread sheets weren’t in its vocabulary.   So I set about creating a template.

Which didn’t print correctly.   And then the odyssey began.  Devouring my spare time, giving me migraines and irritating all my friends.   After three weeks of this, I finally had my solution  … a perfectly positioned template.  Yep it looked as uneven as hell on the screen, but downloaded perfectly and proffered a beautifully centered grid into which one could drop the Gimp business cards.

Being a thrifty and economical person, it seemed a waste to keep this neat little trick all to myself, so I decided to allow the Gimp Wimp a nice new blog.   And SHARE.

There will be more to come.   As the mood and inspiration hits.  Between spasms of Brahms, Zipoli and my offline business, fueled with good chocolate and a bud when I can locate one … I will sally forth with new tricks and some plain old serendipitous tips.

Alohaaaa  aa aa a      …  The GIMP WIMP

1 Response to About

  1. Byron says:

    My page printed too small. Gimp Help and a Gimp book, were of no help. I Googled. Your page came up first and within minutes my problem was solved.
    I know no good Hindi words to counter your bad ones, so THANK YOU will have to do.

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